A Few Thoughts on Koen

I've been posting a lot about my time with Tavin and Penn.  It's a strange thing that that really is who I spend most of my time with these days though.  After 5 years of spending the majority of my days with Koen, it's quite a shift.  We are all adjusting.  In general, I think it's been surprisingly smooth.  Koen loves Kindergarten.  He appreciates his teacher, his classroom, his classmates.  Carpooling is a blast with his buddy, Mary Boyd.  Gym is his favorite subject, but he also loves "math boxes."  Koen is loving craft/coloring times at school and at home.  He continues to add to his abilities in letters, preliminary reading/sounding out skills and arithmetic.  From what I hear from his teacher, Koen is great behaviorally in the classroom and very respectful to her and kind to his peers.  When he gets home from school it can be rough.  I think he's strained at times from doing his best to do well, please others and be a good boy at school that he just lets himself go at home.  Tavin often takes the brunt as Koen has been hitting lightly and pushing and shoving when he doesn't get his way.  He often has outbursts and is just plain unkind to his little brother.  Tavin is still so loyal and just wants to be with Koen and will play with him to no end, even if he has battle wounds to show for it.  I often take a lot of Koen's backlash after school.  We've noticed that his listening skills at home are suffering and we are trying to stay consistent on helping understand how to listen and obey each and every instruction whether small or large while also consistently giving consequences for the way he's treating Tavin.  It's exhausting.  Koen is still the sweet, amazing little guy though.  We have some very special moments reading together, hanging out around 4pm after his rest time and before Tavin is up and watching him with Penn is such a delight (he has a real gift!).  I feel like Koen would benefit greatly from some more physical activity on weekdays after school lets out, but it's just difficult to make it happen with Tavin and Penn needing to go down for their naps, etc.  Doug and I were discussing some things though and here are a few of my takeaways (and maybe I write them here for a sense of accountability...if I write it, I'll do it is the idea)...1) let Koen stay up longer before going to his rest time.  Tavin goes down a little before 2pm and Penn soon after.  Usually I read to Koen around 2pm and then he's in his room for awhile.  But I often have clean up from lunch/morning time things or house-cleaning or laundry to do for awhile where Koen could definitely be sitting in the kitchen coloring or doing Play-Doh or something.  Then I could read to him and have him resting by 2:45pm instead.  2) On nice days, if I can manage it with Penn's needs, I should get Tav out of his room from nap at 4:30pm and get all 3 boys out to the playground until a little before dinnertime (6pm-ish).  3) Continue to plan special afternoon playdates for Koen when possible where he can get out of the house here and there in the afternoon to go to a playground or a friend's house for a change of pace.  So, I'll have to let you know how this all goes, but I'd appreciate your prayers as I try not to blame myself or feel guilty about his bouts of bad behavior that we are trying to address.  That's where we are with our kindergartner Koen.  I love him so much.