Koen's First Day on the Bus!

It's humbling even writing those words.  Sometimes I feel like I'm a bad mom that I put my child on the bus.  I don't really believe that, but I feel that way.  I don't want to have to release that control...to let my baby ride on a bus with little supervision and kids ages 5-13.  I don't want him to be afraid, picked on or picking on others.  But maybe it's good that not everything looks the way I would've said I had it planned 20 years ago when I was daydreaming about my life "one day."  Maybe it's better this way not being sure of every little thing.  I talk to God more when I'm unsure, unsettled.  I trust God more when I can't trust myself or my plans.  He's my strength in my weakness.  He can carry me through this uncertain hour and He can hold Koen safe in His arms...even on the bus.  

So Koen now rides the bus in the afternoons.  Doug met him at the bus stop today.  This proud and sweet Daddy captured it with a picture and sent it to me (who of course was waiting by the phone for an update that he was safe in Doug's arms).  Looks like Koen was pleased with his experience and just fine.

One day down.  Only about 175 to go.  Dear Lord, please let this be a character-building, spirit-growing experience full of fun and simplicity for Koen and let it not include any of the scary, dark things my mind conjures up with the release of this control.  Please God bring him home safe in every way every day.  Grow his friendships and his heart for his friends in this time and let him be a light to those he is with.  Please God, protect Koen Douglas this year on the bus.  Thank you for caring about this significant-to-me detail.  Amen.