Koen has been INTENSE the last two days! I've been near breaking point many times the past 2 days. It's so frustrating as I feel like he's been doing a lot better lately. The biggest issue is that talking to him is like talking to a wall. He just doesn't listen sometimes. It's frustrating because sometimes it's intentional, other times it seems to be age related. It's phsyically, mentally and emotionally exhausting to follow-through on consistent discipline/consequences. That sets off all the whining and complaining, so then I have to muster the strength to be consistent with follow-ups to that. And that's how I arrive at a church service at 11am completely frustrated, exhausted and wishing Doug was there to tag team. I just love, love, love Koen Douglas so much, it is so hard that he also can be such a thorn in my flesh. And it's not even that. It's that he makes me feel like a failure because when I'm not consistent or if I lose my cool, I feel like a terrible mom, a terrible person. So, it's two-fold...frustration at Koen, frustration at myself. It is a humbling experience being a mom. I sure hope the Lord gives me the strength to improve each day and get better at this job. I love it so much, I want to do it so well, but lately I seem to only be reminded of how human I am. Anyways, so now for the uplifting part of this post. Tonight I was reminded of how Koen captures my heart. I was digging through some archives and found videos that just riveted my attention. They are pretty cute to me. I hope you enjoy!
KOEN WALKS! 6/09/2008
WALKING PRACTICE (and a little discipline foreshadowing) 6/13/2008
GETTING ORGANIZED (can you tell I'm his mom?) 8/01/2008
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