So, Koen has not been easy lately. I'm so tired, emotionally and physically, from what seems like a constant battle. It's so frustrating. He isn't a terrible child. He's a blast. A huge vocabulary, so conversational, very sensitive and sweet. But he is 3, strong-willed and smart (and unfortunately, like the rest of us, he's human). I just don't know what else to do. Doug and I have read and appreciate the precepts of "Shepherding a Child's Heart" and basically follow that thinking for our discipline approach and I'm working through some Dobson books about discipline. I'm guessing though that we just have to keep being consistent, loving, but firm and wait and wait and wait for it to finally pay off. I'm not sure I can wait for years though. I'm exhausted. I just want my sweet Koen all the time, not this challenging and difficult little guy that I just don't know what to do about sometimes.
It scares me to because we are constantly working on "listening and obeying." Well, what happens when we don't make progress on the little things around the house? Today I took the boys to the library and I had Tavin, books to return and the diaper bag in my arms, so I didn't have a hand to hold Koen's hand. We had to walk through the busy parking lot "next to each other." Well, his definition of "close to Mommy" was different than mine. I asked him several times to walk close to me and he just drags his feet, and goes his own way. It's so frustrating! I felt helpfless! What do you do? This is a safety issue. All our hard work at home is for moments like these and I don't think that we are getting through to him. If we aren't successful in the small stuff, why would he listen about the big stuff? I'm just praying that under it all the real message is getting through and eventually he won't care to do everything opposite of what I ask.
Can't Koen and I just sit in a chair and snuggle and read all day until he is of an age where we don't have to deal with this 3 year old drama? (yeah, I know if I don't put the time in now it will be worse later). Thanks for listening to my little rant. I've been leaving this stuff off the blog as I hate to bog it down with negatives, but I think it was about time to get a little venting off my chest as well as bookmark it for years to come when I look back and read through old posts. Hopefully I'll be looking back from a point where Koen has grown up and developed through this frustrating process and with God's grace becomes an amazing boy, young man and then adult one day!
Just to pick this up from depressing, I'm including a funny video from Koen pretending to be "Lopey the Clown." He totally made up this little bit of play himself after watching something on Handy Manny. It's so funny. Throughout the day occassionally he'll just turn into Lopey the Clown. He says, "I'm not Koen anymore, I'm Lopey the Clown!" and the fun begins!
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